Monday, December 8, 2008

Results not typical

I was in an Infomercial. Sort of.
I will not reveal for what, but it was a fitness product. A home workout machine.

I was one of 30 or so "real people" selected to be a part of the "results not typical" shinny happy people you see on those ads.

So what do they mean by "results not typical"
-Two Olympic class personal trainers working out with you 2 hours a day, five days a week, for eight weeks
-A "nutrition" program that consists of a very unrealistic 1400 calories a day
-An inhumane amount of cardio training

Our "Audition" tape consisted of us standing in our underwear talking about how we hated our bodies while being filmed. (no I don't think there is anything worse in the world someone could do to you than that!)

When we were selected we were told that only the top ten biggest losers would be a part of the actual project.

Every week we weighed in, had measurements taken, and calipers were used on us to determine our body fat percentage.

We "lifted weights" on the machine for 45 minutes four mornings a week and did an hour cardio workout. On our Wednesday "rest" day we did an extra one- two hours of cradio.

The ones that really wanted it, and worked hard saw the AMAZING results, and quick. Too quick.
Half way through the experience it felt like you were also losing your mind a bit...
Every two weeks we had progress report filming days.... they took pictures of us in skimpy workout cloths, and we talked about how great we felt... when you were not in the star seat being filmed you were in the background, working out.... for like FIVE hours. we were allowed water, and nothing else.

As each week passed there were less and less of us. It was like a bad reality TV show. some cracked under the pressure and quit, others were asked to leave (I think, I can't prove that, but it was mysterious how some disappeared)

Looking around the room as things progressed it be came obvious that we all fell into a different very calculated type. The house wife, the working mom, the young dad, the middle aged guy, various ethnic types... etc....

By the final week there were about 14 of us left.... I think ten were picked for the final day of filming. It was pretty amazing to see how we had all transformed.
They had big cardboard cut life sized out pictures of our "before". To be extra dramatic, we didn't get to see them until we went into the "filming" room, so they could catch our reactions to seeing the old fat versions of ourselves.

I stayed skinny for about four extra months, and then it all crept back on, plus 10 pounds.

The system worked, but only under the little bubble world of TV. once we lost the personal trainers and the fancy gym... and well life got in the way again.

This Infomercial boot camp didn't change us on the inside, only the outside. I wasn't ready to do this on my own, and it all happened so fast I didn't make the changes I needed to make to have it last.

In the end, they only picked four of us for the final cut. I was told I was number 6.... they might use me in future edits...
I am OK if that doesn't happen.

Looking back, I don't regret doing the infomercial, I am glad that I am finally learning the life lessons I need to make the lasting change.

I did this infomercial in the summer of 2005, right before I met Chris.

1 comment:

Nick said...

Always #6 in a world for 4.

Screw 'em. Better you should have gone through the experience and learned something.